Stepping Into My Artist’s Shoes

 A long time has passed. Days. Months. Years even. 

A long time has passed since I’ve been a working artist. And I’ve missed it. 

My artist journey began at age 10, when I declared my desire to own a real camera and my dad obliged. 

And it’s been a love affair with images ever since. In my college days, I started using my skills to make money. I shot grip and grins for soroities, ran the univeristy darkroom and worked as a staff photographer for the newspaper. 

And I freelanced in some capacity for the next 20 years. I’ve done it all, solo gallery exhibits, multimedia production for major corporations, documented Maoist soldiers in Nepal and got shot at a Palestian protest in Israel. I’ve traveled the globe with my camera. 

But for the past 6 years or so, I’ve been learning another trade. Website production and online business buildin has been my jam. I’ve helped businesses all over the globe tell their stories using websites, images and motion. And I’ve loved it. 

But now it’s time. Time to be an artist again. But here’s the hardest part....

Letting go and leaning into the Universe. Sounds wonky, right? But seriously. Letting go of my website business to return to art has been such a struggle and I haven’t filled the void fast enough with art sales. I’m in this perpetual limbo stage of fight or flight. 

And it’s exhausting. 

But what if I just let go? What if I just lean in, do the work, make the art and let the Universe connect with my energy. 

Is that how it works? I know the work that needs to be done, I’ve spent the last 6 years or more running a digital marketing business. I know how to do this. 

Then why does it feel so insurmountable? Like there’s no way I’ll be able to support myself doing this...and then I end up in this perpetual cycle of self-doubt-- attracting the very energy I’m trying to avoid out of overwhelming fear and scarcity. 

The cycle continues. Do you know what I mean? Fellow artist, have you traveled on this path? I have. I’m no stranger here. I’m simply trying to create a new path now, one with a better view and less boulders in the way. 

Are you with me? Can you feel me? Are we doing this together, or what? 

I’m in. Are you? Tell me your artist’s dance with devil in the comment section below.